Saturday, January 11, 2014

La Jollans Who Chose to Live in Oceanside Tourist Destination Annoyed that Tourists and Ocean Animals Keep Showing Up

Please read this not-The-Onion excerpt from a letter-to-the-editor penned by Melinda Merryweather, La Jollan:
[...]
Every day we have to put up with more than 2,000 cars with no parking, so we are short 2,000 parking spaces almost every day.  We have two polluted beaches and smells that no other city would ever have to put up with. 
I am not interested in La Jolla being the free SeaWorld for the city.  I want the quiet back.  I want my beaches back.  I want this nightmare over.  We have to stand up and say, "I am not taking it any more!"
(You can find the editorial in full by flipping to the back of this: http://issuu.com/lajollalight2010/docs/1-9-2014_la_jolla_light/1?e=1855587/6246257 )

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Background:

My neighborhood of La Jolla (Mitt Romney's, too!) has some interesting quirks, one of which is that a subset of the locals really dislike the seals and sea lions who live in the ocean and on the beaches.  The seals because they took over a tiny beach that they used to go to (and that divers used to use) and now the sea lions who apparently have smelly poop.  Here's the lowdown on the sea lion issue:


  • At the La Jolla cove, there are sea lions.  Tourists (and at least this local) love them!  Arf arf arf, et cetera.
  • Also on the cliffs above where the sea lions haul out, there are lots of birds (pelicans, cormorants, gulls), who pooped on the cliffs.  People weren't allowed to walk on the cliffs, and it doesn't rain much, so the poop built up.
  • Above the cliffs are several swank restaurants with ocean views who don't like the smell of all that poop because then the rich people who would dine there won't come.
  • Well everyone assumed the smell was the bird poop, and after much legal wrangling (coastal commissions and cities and neighborhoods and yaddayadda) they powerwashed off all the poop.  Then they added a gate to the fence to the cliffs, so now people can go down there, preventing birds from roosting there and pooping.  Problem solved?
  • Apparently not, because I guess there's still some smell (it's not nearly as bad, but it's noticeable if you sniff for it).  This is blamed on the sea lions and their poop.
  • Now the restaurants have had enough, and they're suing the City of San Diego because they're sick of the smell.
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Analysis:

1.  It is hilarious that Melinda Merryweather thinks that the actual ocean is just a "free SeaWorld" responsible for parking problems and smelliness.

2. Opening the gate is going to cause some problems...

 The cliffs where the poop used to be, now with humans getting as close as they can to the sea lions. 2013/01/11

An example of humans being stupid. 2013/01/11


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If that's not enough for you, here are some other great links to classic La Jolla Light opinion moments:

Seals are Yahoos akin to termites, people who like them are The Despoilers:
Many of The Despoilers are not even residents of La Jolla and should have no say in how our city and its resources are maintained. They are INVADERS of the rights of citizens of La Jolla. 
When termites move into The Despoilers’ domiciles, let us prohibit any form of extermination of the creatures. Demand that The Despoilers vacate their homes and allow the poor creatures to fester and thrive.

The seals are bringing the Sharkpocalypse:
Within the next 20 years this place will be considered a dangerous place to swim and surf. The people who pushed having what will by then be a full-blown seal colony will have serious blood on their hands. Families will be devastated by the loss of their loved ones who will die the most horrible deaths imaginable. Generations of families will suffer. 

Google it, dummy:

Don’t sea lions poop in the water? If they do that, this would leave pelicans and cormorants as the only culprits. 
With all of the marine biologists here in La Jolla, could someone ask the right person so that we attack the right problem? 
Art Cooley, La Jolla 
La Jolla Light Editor’s note: Search for “sea lions pooping” on YouTube and you can view videos that show the sea lions defecate both in water and on land.

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad that someone else appreciates the La Jolla Light newspaper as much as I do. There are true comedic gems in there every week.

    ReplyDelete